Faceplant Guarantee and disclosure

Face-plant guarantee for our products

(AKA the ‘You will face-plant Guarantee’)

Some businesses offer a 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year 100% money back guarantee. We think that’s a little boring. So our guarantee goes like this:

If you’re not entirely 100% satisfied with any purchase you made on the Bike Shop Marketer website – in other words if you wouldn’t happily take a dive FACE FIRST over the bars of your bike into a puddle of cold, wet, stinking mud… if you wouldn’t willingly face-plant into this mud just so you can keep your copy of what ever it is you bought off our website… then we’ll give you a full 100% refund up to 365 days later.

You were hoping I would volunteer to face-plant in the mud - weren’t you? I still might - if it will make it clear to you that I stand behind every single thing you see on this website, including the products and services that I recommend. (Remember that I recommend them because I use them myself).

Faceplant guarantee for other products – and disclosure

(AKA the ‘I will face-plant Guarantee’)

OK so there are products and services on this website that I didn’t make write or make myself, but they’re usually here because I use them and they make my life easier. When you click on their pretty pictures and links you get taken to their ‘proper’ website where you have the option to buy or download them etc. Sometimes I receive a commission, other times not. All the times however, I recommend them with the whole hearted belief that you will find them useful / interesting / superior to use for your own bike shop business. Do you belive I wrong about one? Really? I will hit the mud. Watch me.

If you’re not entirely 100% satisfied with any purchase you made because of a recommendation on the Bike Shop Marketer website -  then I will take that dive FACE FIRST over the bars of my bike into a puddle of cold, wet, stinking mud… and then I will post a photo right here to prove it.

Face-plant Guarantee for your customers

(AKA the ‘Your customers will face-plant Guarantee’)

So you want a guarantee that your customers will like the ideas you find here? That they will react in the same way as my customers did? That they will happily visit that mud puddle with their face just to stay connected to your bike shop - rather than having to venture through the strange doors of any other bike shop in town?

This is tricky – how do I know you’ve implemented the ideas thoroughly and the way they were intended? How do I know you didn’t leave it all up to the shop boy who comes in after school to sweep the workshop and eat all the cookies in the staff room?

Tell you what. You tell me what went wrong,  in an email, on our Facebook page, or a comment on this website, and explain why your customers aren’t happy. Then: 

I Guarantee that I will tell your customers to go face-plant in that puddle. Then I will tell you how I would fix what has gone wrong.  

Consider it a personal marketing consultation -but it will be in public, just like my marketing mistakes are. Did you miss them? There’s a whole category devoted to marketing mistakes!